Have you ever wondered just how REAL underwater basket weaving is? Before I became an underwater basket weaving olympian and taught others how to use this age-old skill to fight off zombies, I often wondered if weaving baskets under water was even real or practical for that matter. But then I met the ghost of Bruce Lee and my life was changed forever!
The Real Art of Basket Weaving Was Taught To Bruce Lee
You see, what most people don’t know is that Bruce Lee was a legendary zombie fighter that honed his craft by weaving baskets with his father and grandfather. They taught Bruce that for one to stop the zombie, one must weave like the wind. Those underwater basket weaving lessons became life lessons that stopped the 1st zombie apocalypse from spreading past Hong Kong in 1976.
It was only because of Bruce Lee’s pure determination and refusal to quit that the zombie horde was brought to a headless stop thanks to the underwater basket weaving genius of Bruce Lee. In less than three weeks, he taught over 100 police officers in the New Territories to weave wet baskets into a fighting machine that beheaded zombies left and right.
The Underwater Basket Weaving That Stopped The Zombie Horde
The victory is long forgotten now that Hong Kong is no longer a British colony. Once it was swallowed up by China, the whole event was swept under the rug and all the statues commemorating the event were taken down. The sheer stupidity of this whitewashing will no doubt be our undoing one day.
It is because of events like this that I became an underwater basket weaving olympian and why to this day I hone my skills in preparation for the coming zombie apocalypse. So, here me now and know that underwater basket weaving is real and that its usefulness is beyond measure. Oh and I almost forgot, you can learn how to weave baskets underwater at universities around the country now, so don’t hold back, learn while you still can.
When the Summer Olympics begin, fans from all over the world are ready to root for their favorite athletes. There are many popular events that people are motivated to watch. Sports icons such as Michael Phelps draw large crowds to swimming events such as the 50 m swimming freestyle, but there is one water-based event that is even better. Since its inception, the Underwater Basket Weaving Olympics has far surpassed the regular Olympics. These Olympians are not only the best in the world at this sport, but they are also the only ones that can save us from a zombie apocalypse and will be the true saviors of humanity when it occurs.
What Is Underwater Basket Weaving?
This is a very popular sport that is done all over the world. Those that participate in the Underwater Basket Weaving Olympics are some of the best athletes that have ever participated in Olympic games. Not only are they adept at weaving baskets underwater, sometimes at depths of 10 m, but they are capable of holding their breath for over eight minutes. It is a challenging event, one that requires physical strength, stamina, and the ability to create baskets with overwhelmingly unique designs. It is the stamina and dexterity that is possessed by these underwater basket weaving Olympians that makes them the top candidates for saving the world when the zombie apocalypse comes.
What Is The Zombie Apocalypse?
This is an event that many people believe will occur in the near future. As science continues to modify the genetics of animals, they will soon be able to modify the DNA of people. However, not all scientists are doing this for humanitarian reasons. There are those that seek world domination. Their goal is to change everyone into brain eating men and women, individuals that will virtually consume everyone on the earth. Some say that this type of event is mere fantasy. However, these are the words of the uninformed. It will literally take the beginning of the zombie apocalypse to convince doubters that this coordinated attack on the world from the elite is real.
How Can Underwater Basket Weaving Olympians Help Avert This Apocalypse?
The reason that these particular Olympians will be our saviors is because of the skills they have harnessed over the years. First of all, they are able to hold their breath for extended periods of time. This will allow them to attack and kill all of the zombies that are coming up from the water. Their basket weaving skills are even more important. Few people understand that zombies will literally explode in the presence of baskets being woven at high speeds. The energetic frequency created by this activity, especially out of water, can literally disintegrate an entire horde of zombie attackers within seconds. Finally, these Olympians are trained to understand only one thing: the need to win at any cost. It is this combination of the desire to win, combined with their basket weaving skills, that will save us all.
Do We Have Enough Underwater Basket Weaving Olympians To Save Us?
According to recent polls taken, the sport of underwater basket weaving has never been more popular. People are absolutely addicted to not only watching this Olympic event, but they are feeling compelled to make baskets more than ever before. Some studies have shown that more people are weaving baskets today than those that are posting on Facebook and Twitter. The reason that we don’t know about this is that it is an underground hobby, one that most people don’t like to admit they are addicted to. If all goes well, these Olympians can begin to train legions of underwater basket weavers, preparing us for the potential end of mankind at the hand of the zombies.
Now that you know more about the underwater basket weaving Olympics, you may find yourself strangely drawn to watching this intense and addicting event. It could be the universe calling to you. If you find yourself suddenly weaving baskets, and doing so in your swimming pool, you might be one of the next underwater basket weaving Olympians. If you become exceptionally fast at weaving baskets underwater, you may want to join forces with the current Olympians. By doing so, you will be preparing for the zombie apocalypse, allowing you to do your part in saving mankind.