Welcome to the Underwater Basket Weaving University admissions process. We’re thrilled that you’re considering submerging yourself in education with us! Please carefully review our unique requirements:
Application Requirements
- Waterproof Application Form: All applications must be completed underwater. Points awarded for legibility despite water damage.
- Prune Factor: Submit clear photographs of your hands and feet after a 3-hour bath. Advanced pruning is viewed favorably by our admissions committee.
- Aquatic Essay: In 500 words or less, describe why you believe underwater basket weaving is essential for solving global climate change. Must be written in water-soluble ink.
- Snorkel SAT: Take our standardized test while snorkeling. Scores are calculated based on correct answers and bubbles produced.
- Letters of Recommendation: Provide testimonials from at least two marine animals. Dolphins preferred, but we will accept octopi statements written in ink.
- Underwater Basket Weaving Portfolio: Submit a video of yourself weaving a basket while fully submerged. Bonus points if you can attract fish to live in it.
- Hydration Challenge: Provide medical proof that at least 90% of your body is composed of water. We take our liquidity seriously here at UBWU.
- Swim Team Tryouts: All applicants must participate in our synchronized swimming evaluation. Ability to perform underwater basket weaving techniques while executing a flawless swan dive is a plus.
- Financial Ebb and Flow: Submit a detailed plan on how you intend to pay tuition in sand dollars, pearls, or sunken treasure.
- Kelp Forest Knowledge: Pass our entrance exam on various seaweeds and their weaving properties. Bonus section: “101 Uses for Seaweed in Everyday Life.”
Important Dates
- Early Submersion Deadline: January 1st (Must apply while polar bear plunging)
- Regular Flotation Deadline: March 15th
- Late Doggy Paddle Deadline: Rolling admissions until all pools are filled
Interview Process
Selected candidates will be invited for an interview in our state-of-the-art submersion chamber. Be prepared to discuss your long-term goals in underwater craftsmanship while demonstrating your ability to hold your breath for extended periods.
Orientation
Accepted students are required to attend our “Dive In” orientation week, where you’ll learn essential skills such as underwater breathing, fish communication, and how to protect your textbooks from water damage.
Remember, at UBWU, we’re not just looking for students – we’re looking for visionaries who aren’t afraid to get their feet (and everything else) wet in pursuit of higher education. Apply now and make a splash in your academic career!