Bachelor of Subaqueous Artistry (BSA) in Underwater Basket Weaving
Year 1: Foundations of Aquatic Craftsmanship
Semester 1:
- Breathing 101: The Art of Not Drowning While Crafting
- Intro to Waterproof Materials: Because Soggy Baskets Are Sad Baskets
- Marine Biology for Weavers: Know Your Audience
- Physical Education: Synchronized Swimming for Beginners
Semester 2:
- Basic Knot Tying: Don’t Get Tangled Up in Blue
- Underwater Physics: Why Your Baskets Float Away
- Aquatic Plant Identification: Seaweed or Sea-don’t?
- Elective: Intro to Mermaid Communication
Year 2: Intermediate Submerged Techniques
Semester 1:
- Advanced Breath Control: Mastering the Art of Not Drowning
- Kelp Manipulation: Weaving with Nature’s Noodles
- Underwater Colorology: Making Your Baskets Pop in the Deep Blue
- Elective: Dolphin-Assisted Weaving Techniques
Semester 2:
- Pressure and Depth: Crafting from Kiddie Pools to the Mariana Trench
- Coral Reef Etiquette: How Not to Be a Basket Case in Fragile Ecosystems
- Underwater Tool Mastery: Scissors, Pliers, and Other Things That Shouldn’t Be Submerged
- Elective: Basket Weaving in Shark-Infested Waters (Waiver Required)
Year 3: Advanced Aquatic Artistry
Semester 1:
- Extreme Environment Weaving: From Arctic Waters to Hydrothermal Vents
- Underwater Fashion Design: Baskets as Accessories for the Modern Merperson
- Marine Archaeological Basketry: Weaving Like It’s 1599 (Underwater)
- Aquatic Aesthetics: Making Your Baskets Pop in Fifty Shades of Blue
- Elective: Scuba Yoga for the Limber Weaver
Semester 2:
- Bioluminescent Materials: Baskets That Glow in the Deep
- Underwater Marketing 301: Selling Seashells and Other Submerged Crafts
- Legal Issues in Underwater Crafting: Maritime Law for the Artistically Inclined
- Underwater Economics: Supply and Demand in the Deep Blue Sea
- Elective: Underwater Basket Weaving While Riding a Seahorse
Year 4: Capstone and Specialization
Semester 1:
- Underwater Basket Weaving in Popular Culture: From SpongeBob to Aquaman
- Advanced Aquatic Artistry: Creating Underwater Sculptures with Basket Techniques
- Entrepreneurship for the Underwater Artisan: Starting Your Own Submerged Business
- Elective: Basket Weaving in Zero Gravity (Field Trip to International Space Station)
Semester 2:
- Capstone Project: Create a Fully Functional Underwater City Made Entirely of Baskets
- Internship: 200 Hours of Weaving in Various Underwater Locations
- Thesis: “The Socioeconomic Impact of Underwater Basket Weaving on Marine Ecosystems”
- Final Exam: 24-Hour Underwater Basket Weaving Marathon
Graduation Requirement:
Students must successfully weave a watertight basket while being circled by a curious group of dolphins. The basket must then be approved by a panel of pufferfish.