Curriculum

Bachelor of Subaqueous Artistry (BSA) in Underwater Basket Weaving

Year 1: Foundations of Aquatic Craftsmanship

Semester 1:

  • Breathing 101: The Art of Not Drowning While Crafting
  • Intro to Waterproof Materials: Because Soggy Baskets Are Sad Baskets
  • Marine Biology for Weavers: Know Your Audience
  • Physical Education: Synchronized Swimming for Beginners

Semester 2:

  • Basic Knot Tying: Don’t Get Tangled Up in Blue
  • Underwater Physics: Why Your Baskets Float Away
  • Aquatic Plant Identification: Seaweed or Sea-don’t?
  • Elective: Intro to Mermaid Communication

Year 2: Intermediate Submerged Techniques

Semester 1:

  • Advanced Breath Control: Mastering the Art of Not Drowning
  • Kelp Manipulation: Weaving with Nature’s Noodles
  • Underwater Colorology: Making Your Baskets Pop in the Deep Blue
  • Elective: Dolphin-Assisted Weaving Techniques

Semester 2:

  • Pressure and Depth: Crafting from Kiddie Pools to the Mariana Trench
  • Coral Reef Etiquette: How Not to Be a Basket Case in Fragile Ecosystems
  • Underwater Tool Mastery: Scissors, Pliers, and Other Things That Shouldn’t Be Submerged
  • Elective: Basket Weaving in Shark-Infested Waters (Waiver Required)

Year 3: Advanced Aquatic Artistry

Semester 1:

  • Extreme Environment Weaving: From Arctic Waters to Hydrothermal Vents
  • Underwater Fashion Design: Baskets as Accessories for the Modern Merperson
  • Marine Archaeological Basketry: Weaving Like It’s 1599 (Underwater)
  • Aquatic Aesthetics: Making Your Baskets Pop in Fifty Shades of Blue
  • Elective: Scuba Yoga for the Limber Weaver

Semester 2:

  • Bioluminescent Materials: Baskets That Glow in the Deep
  • Underwater Marketing 301: Selling Seashells and Other Submerged Crafts
  • Legal Issues in Underwater Crafting: Maritime Law for the Artistically Inclined
  • Underwater Economics: Supply and Demand in the Deep Blue Sea
  • Elective: Underwater Basket Weaving While Riding a Seahorse

Year 4: Capstone and Specialization

Semester 1:

  • Underwater Basket Weaving in Popular Culture: From SpongeBob to Aquaman
  • Advanced Aquatic Artistry: Creating Underwater Sculptures with Basket Techniques
  • Entrepreneurship for the Underwater Artisan: Starting Your Own Submerged Business
  • Elective: Basket Weaving in Zero Gravity (Field Trip to International Space Station)

Semester 2:

  • Capstone Project: Create a Fully Functional Underwater City Made Entirely of Baskets
  • Internship: 200 Hours of Weaving in Various Underwater Locations
  • Thesis: “The Socioeconomic Impact of Underwater Basket Weaving on Marine Ecosystems”
  • Final Exam: 24-Hour Underwater Basket Weaving Marathon

Graduation Requirement:

Students must successfully weave a watertight basket while being circled by a curious group of dolphins. The basket must then be approved by a panel of pufferfish.